My video game quest to help depression

The past week or so has been extremely depressing for me. With the corona virus here and everybody freaking out, it has made my depression come back tenfold. I haven’t left my house in a week, haven’t done grocery shopping, haven’t felt like writing blogs/articles for anybody. The only thing I’ve been doing is playing video games.

I decided to make it a personal mission to go back and play PVP games I was always too afraid to play because of toxic people. I started with CS:GO and my first game was a disaster. After spending hours in training, assuming I was good enough to finally take on some people, I had my first match. I got completely slaughtered. My training apparently didn’t pay off. I shut the game off after about 10 games and figured I would never play it again because I just wasn’t good.

The next day I thought back on where I was going wrong in CSGO. I realized my problem is that I was standing still while shooting. I needed to keep moving so I wasn’t an easy target. I decided to boot up CSGO and I even sent out a tweet beforehand saying that maybe I’d turn into a super saiyan this time around. That’s exactly what happened.

I got my first kill in a game and was like “okay, this is how you play”. Then I started to get much more kills and my confidence grew. I knew I still wasn’t that good compared to other people, but I was on to something. And then the unthinkable happened. In one game I ended up killing every single person on the other team. I couldn’t believe it. I was in such shock and excitement that I threw the controller out of my hand and stopped playing because I was in such disbelief.

The other team decided to all group together and take everyone out. I somehow snuck past them all and used the heaviest gun to kill them all off before they had time to realize where I was. I was literally right behind them. I wasn’t far, but they had no idea who was shooting them. I am finally playing CSGO often and am confident that I belong with the other players. Of course, I’m still in the low ranks and I’m sure once I start playing against top people I’ll get slaughtered. But, I’ll enjoy this for now

The next game I wanted to try was Fortnite. I tried Fortnite back when it was new and I sucked at it. I thought maybe it’s because I was on PS4 and if I played with PC this time around I’d have more control. Nope. Just like when I tried to play Apex Legends, I kept getting one hit ko’d by people across the map. This is because at this point everybody knows the maps and location of items. So if I don’t get to something within 10 seconds of landing I get insta killed.

I am taking a break from both Apex and Fortnite because I don’t feel like I have the patience to wait until I memorize the maps in my head. My experience with Apex was even worse. At least in my Fortnite game I could understand someone getting a good gun by the time I found something. In Apex, some dude legit shot me with a shotgun from all the way across the map. Explain to me how a short range weapons acts as a sniper rifle? Perhaps I will come back to them in a future date. Just like I did with CSGO.

The next game I want to play is League Of Legends. Perhaps the game I tried to avoid the most all of these years because everyone I’ve ever known says the people are toxic. I believe I did try LOL back in the day for just a single day and quit because I had at least 10 death threats in a single game. I am going to try coming back and learning everything. Back then I don’t think I tried to learn. I just hopped into a game and attacked everything.

The games I play in between are games I’m top rank in and have played for years. Rocket League is by far my favorite. I’ve been a champion on every platform. Lately I’ve been playing Legends Of Runeterra. I have become pretty good and am one of the top ranks Those are the two games I mainly play. So far this journey has been helping my depression.