My video game quest to help depression

The past week or so has been extremely depressing for me. With the corona virus here and everybody freaking out, it has made my depression come back tenfold. I haven’t left my house in a week, haven’t done grocery shopping, haven’t felt like writing blogs/articles for anybody. The only thing I’ve been doing is playing video games.

I decided to make it a personal mission to go back and play PVP games I was always too afraid to play because of toxic people. I started with CS:GO and my first game was a disaster. After spending hours in training, assuming I was good enough to finally take on some people, I had my first match. I got completely slaughtered. My training apparently didn’t pay off. I shut the game off after about 10 games and figured I would never play it again because I just wasn’t good.

The next day I thought back on where I was going wrong in CSGO. I realized my problem is that I was standing still while shooting. I needed to keep moving so I wasn’t an easy target. I decided to boot up CSGO and I even sent out a tweet beforehand saying that maybe I’d turn into a super saiyan this time around. That’s exactly what happened.

I got my first kill in a game and was like “okay, this is how you play”. Then I started to get much more kills and my confidence grew. I knew I still wasn’t that good compared to other people, but I was on to something. And then the unthinkable happened. In one game I ended up killing every single person on the other team. I couldn’t believe it. I was in such shock and excitement that I threw the controller out of my hand and stopped playing because I was in such disbelief.

The other team decided to all group together and take everyone out. I somehow snuck past them all and used the heaviest gun to kill them all off before they had time to realize where I was. I was literally right behind them. I wasn’t far, but they had no idea who was shooting them. I am finally playing CSGO often and am confident that I belong with the other players. Of course, I’m still in the low ranks and I’m sure once I start playing against top people I’ll get slaughtered. But, I’ll enjoy this for now

The next game I wanted to try was Fortnite. I tried Fortnite back when it was new and I sucked at it. I thought maybe it’s because I was on PS4 and if I played with PC this time around I’d have more control. Nope. Just like when I tried to play Apex Legends, I kept getting one hit ko’d by people across the map. This is because at this point everybody knows the maps and location of items. So if I don’t get to something within 10 seconds of landing I get insta killed.

I am taking a break from both Apex and Fortnite because I don’t feel like I have the patience to wait until I memorize the maps in my head. My experience with Apex was even worse. At least in my Fortnite game I could understand someone getting a good gun by the time I found something. In Apex, some dude legit shot me with a shotgun from all the way across the map. Explain to me how a short range weapons acts as a sniper rifle? Perhaps I will come back to them in a future date. Just like I did with CSGO.

The next game I want to play is League Of Legends. Perhaps the game I tried to avoid the most all of these years because everyone I’ve ever known says the people are toxic. I believe I did try LOL back in the day for just a single day and quit because I had at least 10 death threats in a single game. I am going to try coming back and learning everything. Back then I don’t think I tried to learn. I just hopped into a game and attacked everything.

The games I play in between are games I’m top rank in and have played for years. Rocket League is by far my favorite. I’ve been a champion on every platform. Lately I’ve been playing Legends Of Runeterra. I have become pretty good and am one of the top ranks Those are the two games I mainly play. So far this journey has been helping my depression.

Being a new content creator sucks

why it’s hard to be a new content creator in 2020

This is a blog I thought of just today when I had some internet troll try and downplay my work because I don’t have many followers on Twitter. Although, it didn’t bother me. It did, though, give me an idea for a blog today.

When you’re starting out with being a Youtuber or Twitch streamer it sucks. You grind many hours. You put a lot of work into editing. It takes hours out of your day because you want to take it seriously. But then you upload it into the world and wait for the views to roll in. You wait. And wait. And wait. OMG 1 VIEW. Nevermind, that was just you clicking on your own video.

That’s okay, you’ll keep trying. Days go by. Weeks go by. Sometimes months. Still nothing. Such is the life sometimes of being a content creator. When you finally start getting some views then you have internet trolls telling you that you suck and nobody likes you because you get no views or likes.

When you’re starting out the trolls are loud. I deal with this now because all of my accounts are new, specifically for this brand. It doesn’t bother me because I’ve been a self employed content creator for most of my life. This is something I’ve learned to deal with and these people no longer bother me.

I don’t have anything to prove to them. I don’t need to show them a photo of my bank statement to prove myself to a bunch of nobodies online who have nothing better to do than create 50 fake Twitter accounts to troll people all day. I have had my own apartment for 10 years. I’m doing just fine. I don’t live in mommy’s basement. Sometimes I wish I did, though. Rent free? I’ll take that deal in a heartbeat!

However, when you’re new to the world of creating content online this is going to break a lot of people. When the only messages you receive are personal attacks, it sucks. Especially when you put so much time and effort into what you’re doing. It’s not your fault the views aren’t coming in.

They’ll always find something to make fun of, because they’re mad at their own failures in life. They want to take that anger out on others. So you’re a target to them. No matter how good you are they’ll find something negative to say. Just know that it has nothing to do with who you are or what you’re doing. These people just live miserable lives. We don’t need to lower ourselves to their sadness and emptiness.

The trick to getting some engagement on social media is hard work and consistency. Try and maintain the same schedule. Put hard work and effort into what you’re doing. Try and give people something that nobody else is offering. I promote this website as writing content, but I do much more. I do podcasts, videos. I also write screenplays. Recently I created a choose your own adventure type story.

Sure, people might do one or two of those things, but I do them all. I have actual training and education in these things. I have studied for years. Perfecting my craft. It takes time. Always try and educate yourself. Don’t know how to edit videos? Take online courses. If you wanna get serious results you’re going to have to put in the work.

I once tried to be a Twitch streamer because I thought it would be fun. I was humbled very fast. If your thought to starting a career is “that looks fun” then you have the wrong idea. You might want to do something because it’s fun, but you’re not seeing the other side of the camera. The work that goes into making Twitch streams fun.

You see your favorite content creator having fun and you want to do it. Great. What you’re not seeing is all the hard work they’re doing behind the scenes to make it entertaining for their audience. You have to keep an exact schedule every week, stream at least multiple hours straight, for years to see results. You also have to educate yourself on how to set up a stream and why you’re doing the things you’re doing.

Whether it’s a blog website, a Youtube channel, or a Twitch stream. Consistency and hard work will pay off eventually. Keep at it and you’ll be fine.

Spamming vs selling your business

advice to freelance writers

I have some advice that I wanted to share to all of you freelance writers out there. Although, this applies to any business. I was on Twitter a little while ago and saw this guy spamming his freelance services to everybody. 50 tweets in an hour, saying “Hey, I charge $10 for every 100 words”. He mixed it up, depending on what people were tweeting. But, those were basically all of his tweets.

I understand wanting to get your name out there, but this is something I’ve always told people. There is a big difference between promoting yourself and spamming people. To be quite honest, if you’re having to chase down every person you can find, you’re probably not very good. I know that sounds harsh, but it means you’re doing everything wrong.

When people look at my Twitter account they see a person with 8 followers. However, I’ve been self employed for years doing this. I pick and choose what kind of projects I want to do. I let people come to me. I promote my website on Twitter through every blog I write. If people enjoy what they see they’ll go out of their way to send me an email. I don’t copy and paste my blog to every person I see on Twitter. That’s a bad business model.

“If you build it, they will come”. That’s how that saying goes, right? The reason I’ve been able to do this for so long is because I have earned respect from people. I have the same clients who continue to ask for my services. They want to come back. Not because I copy and pasted the same tweet 17 times to them until they gave in. They come back because they’ve enjoyed my work and sent me an email. If they enjoyed my work they would want to keep coming back.

The only time I send out a tweet asking someone if they’d like my services is during my down time when I’ve finished all my deadlines. Believe me, it happens. I’ll send out ONE single tweet letting them know I’m here if they need me. I also make sure it’s people who specifically are asking for a writer to help them out.

If you only spam your website link, or your rates, you’re going to come across as desperate. Build a name for yourself and people will want to come. I have so much work on my computer ready to go for when people want proof of my work. I have everything from podcasts to screenplays to stories and everything in between. When I want to work for a serious magazine or website they’re going to want to see what I can do. Do you think they would be impressed if they looked at my Twitter and it’s just filled with “Hey, random person. Pay $5 now and I’ll write you 50 words”? That would look unprofessional.

If you look at my Twitter I only pin my current blog. You will find normal tweets from my own personal thoughts. Not me spamming everything I do. I write tons of blogs/articles a day. I do podcasts weekly. I am currently writing a screenplay. You don’t see all that stuff on my social media. Because it just makes me look like a spam robot. I want people to know I’m a real person and I’m pretty cool. If people like me and who I am then they’ll want to look up my services themselves.

My advice to new freelance writers looking for work

my advice to people looking to freelance write

When you’re just starting out as a writer, you want to look anywhere you can for work. That’s just how it goes. You want to get your foot in the door. As someone who has done this for years, I wanted to give you some advice based on my personal experience

Don’t sell yourself short

I’ve learned a long time ago never to trust any person or company that has a large set of rules to follow. I know that sounds weird, but let me explain. Aside from amazing grammar and not writing about anything offensive or illegal, you shouldn’t have a company trying to control someone’s whole brand and entire life.

There is no reason why you should make us agree to completely work for you for a fixed amount of time. There is no reason why you should tell us we are not allowed to work elsewhere and not have our own identities.

I can’t tell you how many times in the past I was handcuffed by people telling me “Well, you can’t do that. You work for us now.”

It’s similar to when I used to work in the music industry and musicians who would try to find ANY work would end up being offered a contract by this HUGE label. OMG! A dream come true, right!? Until some time passes and they are no longer allowed to do anything. They end up suffering creatively. Many times they aren’t paid well. They are not able to do things in their personal lives because these companies start controlling personal lives.

This is why I’ve always done my own thing. I want to have my own voice and identity. It’s one thing to actually be hired as a legit employee. Obviously, if you’re working for a company they’re not going to want you to work for someone else. It’s another thing when you’re not an employee and you’re barely being paid, if at all. They not only give you rules for their work place, but give you rules for YOUR personal life.

Another thing I wanted to address is this.

Any real business or website is not going to look for writers this way. I understand that you guys want to look for any jobs that you can, but never sell yourself short. Just because you have no experience doesn’t mean that you have to take everything you see. If something doesn’t look right it’s not. Always check if the person/company is legit. Do Google search. Go to their website. Look at their social media interactions. Do they have some credibility to them that makes you believe they are a real person?

If a company/person is looking for writers they’ll send out an ad or post on social media telling others to message them. The Twitter account is off for a few reasons. Can you find them?

  1. If a Twitter account has 10 numbers in it….it’s probably not legit.

  2. They’ve posted about ten different “jobs” they are looking for. All with no actual websites or credibility. No social media engagement and only 16 tweets. How do you go from looking for writers to saying you can help people with weight loss? I have perfected about 100 different crafts and careers but they all link to each other in some way. Acting, music, video production, writing, podcasting. In some way or another it’s entertainment work. There’s a link there. The guy above is like someone claiming to be a doctor, a school bus driver, and a police officer. That’s a little strange.

    3. Sending a phone number on TWITTER for “whatsapp”.

    Logically, if someone on social media wants to look for writers, they’re gonna want you to message them on that specific social media account. It makes no sense for them to send out a tweet saying “If you want to be hired, head over to my private Facebook account and we’ll work on your Paypal details.”


Always do your homework when looking for work. Look for credibility. Look for people/companies that will respect you enough to let you do your own thing. Don’t be afraid to take control and ask questions. Let them know what YOU would like. If they can’t negotiate then it’s okay to move on to something else.